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Lesson
Four: Verb Tense
As you write your essay, remember
to focus on verbs and keep adjectives to a minimum. Pumping your sentences
full of adjectives and adverbs is not the same thing as adding detail or
color. Adjectives and adverbs add lazy description, but verbs add action.
Passive Tense
Our editors find that one of the
greatest weaknesses of admissions essays is their frequent use of the passive
tense. For this mini-lesson you will learn why the passive voice should be
avoided, how to identify it, and how to replace it with the preferred active
voice.
Overuse of the passive voice
throughout an essay can make your prose seem flat and uninteresting. Sentences
in active voice are also more concise than those in passive voice. You can
recognize passive-voice expressions because the verb phrase will always
include a form of to be, such as am, is, was, were,
are, or been. The presence of a be-verb, however, does
not necessarily mean that the sentence is in passive voice. In sentences
written in passive voice, the subject receives the action expressed in the
verb; the subject is acted upon. In sentences written in active voice, the
subject performs the action expressed in the verb; the subject acts.
EXAMPLES:
(Passive) I
was selected to be the tuba player by the band leader.
(Active) The bandleader selected
me to be the tuba player.
(Passive) I will be prepared
for college as a result of the lessons my mother taught me.
(Active) My mother taught me lessons that will prepare me for
college
(Passive) I
am reminded of her voice every time I hear that song.
(Active) That song reminds me of
her voice.
EXERCISE
#4:
STRONG VERBS vs. WEAK VERBS
Fill in the blanks using
the most descriptive or active verb phrase.
1. After working closely with
my mentor, I __________ advanced techniques in oil painting.
a)
was beginning to master
b)
began to master
c)
mastered
2. My newspaper article on the
labor strikes __________ both praise and criticism.
a)
generated
b)
got
c)
was the recipient of
3. Once I joined the debate team,
I __________ the opportunity to compete every weekend.
a)
sought
b)
had
c)
was exposed to
4. Samuel’s touchdown
__________ the stadium crowd.
a)
created much energy in
b)
energized
c)
really energized
5. Woolf’s essay __________ my
opinion of gender inequality.
a)
challenged
b)
made me take another look at
c)
was challenging to
6. As Jessica drew near me, I
__________ the baton and took off running.
a)
grasped
b)
got
c)
was given
7. Once my mother had fallen
asleep, I __________ the dolls on her nightstand.
a)
put
b)
arranged
c)
set up
8. Chris and I __________ an
educational project for first-graders in our community.
a)
began
b)
started
c)
initiated
9. “Why didn’t you ask me
before throwing it away?” Jason __________.
a)
hollered
b)
said angrily
c)
started to yell
10. Mr. Franklin __________ that
he was our true father.
a)
let us know
b)
told us
c)
revealed
Answers:
1) c; 2) a; 3) a; 4) b; 5) a; 6)
a; 7) b; 8) c; 9) a; 10) c;
Changing Passive Voice
to Active Voice
If you want to change a
passive-voice sentence to active voice, find the agent in the phrase, the
person or thing that is performing the action expressed in the verb. Make that
agent the subject of the sentence, and change the verb accordingly. For many
instances of the passive voice in your essay, you can follow these steps:
1. Do a global search for the
words “was” and then “were.” These words often indicate the
passive voice.
2. Cross out the “was” or
the “were.”
3. Add -ed to the verb that
follows “was” or “were.”
4. If that changed verb does
not make grammatical sense, it is an irregular verb, so change it to the
simple past tense.
5. Rewrite the sentence
around the new active-voice verb.
EXERCISE
#5: MAKING SENTENCES MORE ACTIVE
Change these sentences from
passive voice to active voice, or note if no change should be made.
1. I was taught by my brother
the principles of barbecuing.
_______________________________________________________________
2. My father was given the
title by the former head chief.
_______________________________________________________________
3. The house was wrecked by
the party and the cat was let loose by the guests.
_______________________________________________________________
4. The house is a mess, the
cat is lost, and the car has been stolen by Justin.
_______________________________________________________________
5. Unfortunately, my plan was
ruined by Gerald, the building superintendent.
_______________________________________________________________
6. The roof was leaking. It
had been leaking all week.
_______________________________________________________________
7. The ball was thrown by
Lucy, who had been hiding in the bushes.
_______________________________________________________________
8. Francesca was placed on
the first flight to Boston. Her father put her there.
_______________________________________________________________
9. “To be or not to be?”
That is the question.
_______________________________________________________________
10. A feast had been created
from nothing. I was astounded.
_______________________________________________________________
Answers:
1.
My brother taught me the principles of barbecuing.
2.
The former head chief gave the title to my father.
3.
The party wrecked the house and the guests let the cat loose.
4.
The house is a mess, the cat is lost, and Justin has stolen the car.
5.
Unfortunately, Gerald, the building superintendent, ruined my plan.
6.
No change.
7.
Lucy, who had been hiding in the bushes, threw the ball.
8.
Francesca’s father placed her on the first flight to Boston.
9.
No change.
10.
A feast had been created from nothing. This astounded me.
EXERCISE
#6: PASSIVE-FREE WRITING
Write a 100-word essay on
anything at all (preferably relating to your essay topic) without using any
form of the verb “to be.”
Continue
to Transitions
From ESSAYS THAT WILL GET YOU INTO COLLEGE, by Amy Burnham,
Daniel Kaufman, and Chris Dowhan.
Copyright 1998 by Dan Kaufman.
Reprinted by arrangement with Barron's Educational Series, Inc.
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