Please select from the
following short essay sets:
Note:
The below essays were not edited by EssayEdge Editors. They appear as they
were initially reviewed by admissions officers.
SAMPLE
SHORT ESSAY SET 1:
Georgetown, Saudi International
Relations
For many years, I have been
interested in studying international relations. My interest in pursuing this
field stems from several factors which have affected me. First, I have been
exposed to international affairs throughout my life. With my father and two
of my brothers in the Saudi Foreign Service, I have grown up under the
shadow of inter-national affairs. Second, I am fascinated by history,
economics, and diplomacy. I believe, through the study of international
relations, I can effectively satisfy my curiosity in these fields. A third
factor which has affected my interest in international relations is
patriotism. Through the Foreign Service, I would not only have the
opportunity to serve my country, but also have the chance to help bridge
gaps between my country and others. Finally, as a Saudi living abroad, I
have been bridging cultures throughout my life. This experience has taught
me to look for differences to compromise and similarities to synthesize in
order to balance different cultures. In short, I believe that my experiences
in life, combined with a rigorous academic education, will enable me to
pursue a successful career in the Saudi Foreign Service.
Georgetown, Favorite Class
At St. Albans, especially in
our later years, we are given the freedom to choose from a vast array of
classes. Using this freedom, I have selected classes which have personal
significance to me, regardless of difficulty or appearance on my transcript.
However, from these classes, one holds an extraordinary amount of value to
me. This course is A.P. Omnibus History, a combination of American and
European history. There are several reasons for my great interest in this
class. First, I am fascinated by the cyclical nature of the past. I see
these recurring political, economic, and social trends as a means of looking
forward into the future, while allowing us to avoid the mistakes of the
past. Second, history teaches many lessons about the nature of human
behavior, both past and present, providing insight into the actions,
desires, and aspirations of those around me. Finally, it lays a solid
foundation for several disciplines, including political science, economics,
and international relations, three fields of great interest to me.
Georgetown, Visual Arts
Another major interest of mine,
which I have not had the opportunity to express elsewhere on my application,
is the visual arts. Throughout high school, I have used a variety of media
to express myself. I began with black and white photography, focusing on the
presence of lines and balance in nature. For my work in this medium, I
received an award at the St. Albans School Art Show. From photography, I
moved on to glass etching. Using a sandblaster to etch the glass, I again
concentrated on lines and balance in my works. Moreover, by arranging
several glass panes into a sculpture, I moved my study into three
dimensions, winning another Art Show award. Currently, I am working on
canvas, using oil and acrylic in a Mondrian style, which is based on lines
and balance. Eventually, I hope to explore the effects of combining these
and other media, creating my own style of artistic expression.
Georgetown, Wrestling
In the past four years of my
life, no activity has affected me more than wrestling. Four years of varsity
wrestling and the honor of being a team captain has instilled many qualities
in me. First, through years of hard work and continuous dieting, wrestling
has given me discipline. This discipline has spread to other parts of my
personality, including my moral character, work ethic, and perserverence.
Another quality wrestling has given me is leadership. As a team captain, I
have learned to lead by example, both on and off the mat. Above all, though,
wrestling has given me a love of life. Through this sport, I have
experienced pain, sacrifice, adversity, and success. Exposure to these
feelings-which are, in my opinion, the essence of being-has allowed me to
truly appreciate life. I hope to continue wrestling at Georgetown.
COMMENTS:
What immediately strikes the
reader about this set-before even reading it-is the balance between the
essays. Each answer contains only one paragraph, each of approximately equal
length. The solid structure of each essay and the focus of each reflects
this outward balance. Each one focuses on a completely different area of its
writer’s life, another striking detail. The first focuses on his career
goals, the second on his interest in history, the third on his interest in
the visual arts, and the fourth on wrestling. This is a perfect example of
the jigsaw puzzle approach. When put together, you have a well-rounded
individual with passion, depth, and involvement in many different areas.
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SAMPLE
SHORT ESSAY SET 2:
Duke, Sports/Debate
Throughout my life, I have
tried to be a well-balanced person. Growing up in the South, I had a hard
time fighting the stereotypical image of a Chinese person. I was expected to
be a math and science genius and nothing more. As it turned out, I defied my
detractors by excelling in English and history along with math and science.
And over the years, I have continued to maintain my academic standards.
Nevertheless, I have also made
sure that I am more than an academic person. I am an active one as well. In
middle school, the most popular game during lunch was a basketball game
called Salt and Pepper (white vs. black). The first day of school, I stepped
onto the basketball courts and was greeted by cries of consternation, “Who
is he? Is he salt or pepper?” But after the game, I had made a name for
myself. From then onward, I would be known as Spice, and the game we played
became Salt, Pepper, and Spice.
When I moved to California,
things were no different. I continued to play an active part both
academically and socially. My involvement with Cross-country, Speech and
Debate, Ultimate Frisbee and numerous clubs guaranteed that I would not be
only known as an Honors student.
Like myself, Duke is much more
than an academic institution; it is a living institution. I feel that I will
be given the opportunity to excel both academically and socially. Duke is a
university known for its rich history and strong academic program. And, at
the same time, it is also known for its innovation and progressiveness.
These are qualities which draw me to the college.
In addition, Duke and I have a
lot in common. The two most important extracurricular activities I have are
a major part of Duke University. Duke’s Speech team is known for its
strong Extemp squad. I remember the time when my speech coach asked me what
schools I was applying to. When I had listed my top five choices, he frowned
at me and said, “Out of all those schools, I will only respect you if you
either join us at Berkeley or go to Duke and extemp.” I hope I will be
given the opportunity to contribute my part in the Duke Speech team.
Equally important, the Duke
University has a well-known Ultimate Frisbee team. I look forward
expectantly to becoming a part of the team. Strange as it seems, Ultimate
Frisbee is one of my top criteria for choosing my future college. It
delights me that Duke places such great emphasis on the two extracurricular
activities that mean most to me.
My first year at Duke should be
a great one. Majoring in economics at Duke should allow me to both pursue my
major studies and allow me time for personal interests in Chinese and the
Humanities. Moreover, in my spare time, I plan to join the Speech team and
the Ultimate Frisbee team. Hopefully, with my previous experience, I will
have an early start in both Speech and Ultimate. Yet, I will never forget
why I’m in college in the first place. As long as I give organic chemistry
a wide berth, I should be able to continue my level of academic excellence.
Overall, my first year at Duke promises to be exciting, if a bit hectic.
Duke, Books
I find Hermann Hesse’s book,
Narcissus and Goldmund, intellectually exciting. After reading the book last
year, I remember putting it down and sighing contentedly. I had, after a
sleepless night, finally finished. What I reveled in was not the fact that I
could sleep, but that I had come away with an inexplicable something. It was
not an understanding which could be pinpointed and explained. Rather, it was
a sense I felt in the depths of my soul. And yet, what delighted me more was
that I knew that I had only begun to understand the book; that there
remained countless messages which I could only sense but not grasp. Here,
finally, I had a book which could be re-read. And every time I finished, I
would come away with a new understanding of something I could not put into
words.
Unlike the normal academic, I
do not want to find the final answer for everything. Throughout my life, I
have always felt a sense of loss after succeeding in a long search. For me,
it is not the ends I seek, but the means themselves. I am perfectly content
to never find the final answer as long as I will always be able to find a
better one.
Duke, Chinese Culture/Economics
Born in Taiwan, I came to the
United States when I was five. Armed with only two words (“hello” and
“popcorn”), I braved the uncertainties of a complex, new environment.
Twelve years later, my vocabulary is considerably larger and I have adapted
well to my surroundings. At the same time, I have neither forgotten my
native culture nor its language.
My ties with my native Chinese
culture remain as strong as ever. I visit my relatives in Taiwan regularly
almost every summer and have traveled throughout China. And to everyone’s
continuing surprise, I have yet to forget how to speak Mandarin.
Nevertheless, twelve years in America has made its impressions upon me as
well. I am as “American” as anyone my age. The songs I listen to, the
sports I play, and the way I speak are all a reflection of that. In short, I
am a combination of both East and West.
Nevertheless, I sometimes
wonder whether speaking Chinese at home and visits in the summer are enough
to maintain my ties with my native culture. Often, when I see my parents
reading old Chinese literature or poetry, I feel that I am only in touch
with half of what I am. This sense of loss has led me to seek out my old
roots. I turn to the East to rediscover what I have lost.
Yet, I cannot resign myself to
merely studying my own culture and language. I want to be able to apply my
knowledge as well. To me, pursuing a career in business is a very pragmatic
solution to my future welfare. My father is a businessman in Taiwan and I
have had numerous opportunities to watch him work. Through him, I have
discovered my own interests in the business field. I find the way business
operates in the East to be very exciting. At the same time, my father has
soothed my sense of morality by showing me that it is possible to be an
honest businessman in Asia.
Before I learned about Duke, I
had made up my mind to study economics and to ultimately pursue a career in
international business. I had come to see this path as the best combination
for fulfilling both my aspirations towards knowledge and my pragmatic goals
of a future livelihood. China, my planned area of focus, is an expanding
market with a dearth of skilled business professionals. But I had misgivings
because I wanted a school with a strong focus on the humanities as well.
Thus, I find Duke University
exciting and perfect for me. It gives me a strong economics curriculum, but
still allows me to pursue my interests in the humanities. With economics at
Duke University, I will have access to a wide array of studies both within
and beyond my chosen major. I will have an edge in the business world by
virtue of Duke
After attending Duke (if I am
accepted, of course), I will have a clear path before me. My studies at Duke
should virtually guarantee me for any graduate business school. And, after
my graduate studies, I will be able to realize my dreams. Perhaps, I will be
able to serve as a bridge between East and West.
COMMENTS:
These three well-written essays
create a strong set. The first and the last would have been impressive on
their own. Reading them all together magnifies their impact considerably.
This student does an especially good job of targeting the school. This
student focuses his first essay on his extracurriculars and relates them to
why Duke would be perfect for him. He focuses the third on his Chinese
background and how it relates to his career goals and academic interests.
Then he also relates these interests to why Duke matches him perfectly. His
favorite book provided the focus of the second essay. What makes this second
essay better than others like it is that the applicant manages to put
himself into the question. He does not just talk about the book, he uses it
to talk about himself and stress the inquisitive nature of his
personality-always a plus.
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SAMPLE
SHORT ESSAY SET 3:
Dartmouth, Debate
Participating in my high
school’s debate program has been my most meaningful activity these past
four years. I have learned how to speak in front of a crowd without becoming
nervous, how to think on my feet, and how to argue the merits of any side of
an issue. Being on the debate team also allows me to educate myself on
current topics of global importance such as the homeless problem, health
care, and pollution.
Throughout the three years I
have dedicated to the activity, (high school) has always maintained a
successful squad and I am quite proud to know that I have earned many of the
trophies and awards that have helped make the program so successful and
(high school) well known on the debate circuit.
Because of the activity, I have
learned that from education to communication, from argument to
enlightenment, debate is necessary for two or more humans to transcend mere
exchange of thought and achieve synergy instead. I now view success in
debate as far more than a trophy; I now see it as evidence that I can
successfully communicate my beliefs to others and have them logically accept
them as their own, thus priming me for any future challenges involving human
interaction.
Dartmouth, Honors and Awards
My most important honors since
tenth grade have been winning the Brown University Book Award for my skills
in English, being named as a National Merit Semifinalist (Finalist status
pending), winning the Journalism Education Association National Write-off
Award of Excellence in the Editorial division at a national conference,
being selected as a Semifinalist in the NCTE Writing Contest for my work in
prose, being named as an Illinois State Scholar for my academic achievement
in high school and my high A.C.T. scores, being selected to the Spanish
Honor Society for my consistent success with the language in the classroom,
being selected as the Student of the Month in the Foreign Language/Social
Sciences division two years in a row for my success in those classes, and in
a culminating event, being featured in Who’s Who Among American High
School Students for my overall scholastic success.
Dartmouth, Summer at Dartmouth
Most of my past summer was
spent away from home. In that brief month in which I remained in (town name)
I worked at (job) in order to earn the money I was going to spend on my
trips. My first excursion was to the east coast where I visited several
schools and took in the atmosphere of an area to which my midwestern self
was somewhat unaccustomed. One school I was considering that I did not visit
was Dartmouth. After all, I spent a month there later in the summer. As a
participant of the Dartmouth Debate Institute I spent a lot of time in
Feldberg, Dana, and Baker libraries; resided in the well-known Choates;
attended sessions in Silsby; and dined in the Full-Fare section of Thayer.
There was also time for recreational activities such as rope swinging,
volleyball, frisbee, sleep (every little bit was cherished), and beautiful
hikes up to Dana. I did manage to sit down and work in such a clean, open
environment, however. The instructors made sure of that. The four-week
institute honed my skills in speaking, researching, structuring arguments,
and thinking. As a result, my partner and I were able to break into the
elimination rounds at the institute-ending tournament which included the top
debaters in the nation. Aside from the debate skills I learned, I found the
institute very favorable because of the exchange of ideas taking place
between the students and staff. What I learned from those exchanges
enlightened me not only as a debater but also as a person.
Although I enjoy all of my
subjects, I regard classes I have taken in the social sciences to be the
most meaningful. Whereas some classes use formulas to describe natural
occurrences, the social sciences show that not everything is explicable in
such a clear-cut manner. The social sciences describe people; they describe
the people who make up the formulas and how and why that was done. The
social sciences also explain the past so as a society, people can avoid past
catastrophes and build upon past successes. Not only do they describe how we
act as we do, but why we act as we do.
I am not a student who always
likes to follow someone else’s rules. While most subjects allow for free
thought, the social sciences encourage innovative thinking. Those classes
expect students to explain why something happened based on certain
conditions. I didn’t learn that the Iron Curtain was an economic measure
in any math class.
As a student my ultimate goal
is to understand things. I feel the best way to understand is not by
reciting another’s thought, but by formulating my own and debating it with
people who disagree with me. I believe that exchange of thought is vital in
every curriculum, but the social sciences do the most to promote that
exchange. I highly doubt that anyone will be debating Einstein’s ideas in
the near future-and be right.
COMMENTS:
This essayist dedicates the
first essay to his involvement in debating. He manages to communicate quite
a lot in a short amount of space (what he has learned, what he has achieved,
and what debating means to him) without ever losing his focus. The second
essay is an example of an answer to a list question (“List your honors and
awards”). The third gets more personal by describing the summer he spent
at Dartmouth. The strength of this essay is that he sells himself on his
knowledge and familiarity of the school. The weakness of this essay is that
he tries to do too much and loses his focus after the second paragraph. The
conclusion does not seem to fit with the points he has made in the essay-the
last line particularly seems to come from nowhere.
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SAMPLE
SHORT ESSAY SET 4:
Harvard, Favorite Books
The novel Black Like Me was the
most stimulating book I have recently read. I was taken aback by the cruelty
the narrator experienced when he was black compared to the hospitality he
found as a white man. Possessing the same occupation, clothing, wealth,
speech, and identity did not matter when his skin was another color. Given
that this was a non-fictional piece, my reaction was even stronger. The book
made me favor equality of opportunity for all in every endeavor so others’
opinions of them are based on performance, not preconceptions.
Harvard, Favorite Teacher
I selected Mr. (name) because
he taught me more than U.S. History; he taught me how to think
independently. This wasn’t done only to prepare me for the free-response
section of the A.P. test, either. I know he did it to make his students
responsible citizens and responsible adults. From the outset, he wanted to
make sure that we knew how we stood in our political philosophy: strict
constructionists or loose constructionists. He wanted to make sure that we
didn’t gravitate towards empty categories like liberal or conservative,
but rather focused on issues separately whenever we needed to take a stand
on them. Imagine my surprise when I, the son of two very conservative
parents who constantly bombarded me with their rhetoric, discovered that I
had strong liberal tendencies on some issues. Aside from political
affiliations, Mr. (name) taught us how to make sense out of history by
trying to understand the personal motives that went in to any chain of
historical occurrences. In his class, I came to the realization that history
isn’t only a series of names and dates printed in a textbook, but a more
complex subject that requires deep thought and analysis for full
comprehension. Because of Mr. (name), history is now my favorite subject. He
has also been a motivating force outside of the classroom. He always had
faith in my ability and constantly encouraged me to do my best. I believe he
respected my abilities and wanted to see them developed further. In fact,
had it not been for his faith in me, I would have never applied to Harvard,
the school I plan to attend in the fall.
Harvard, Unnoticed
Accomplishment
It’s not that I’m a weak
guy, just that I had been somewhat self-conscious about my strength early on
in my high school career. My gym class didn’t help too much, either.
Thanks to a demeaning test of strength appropriately dubbed the “Grip
Test,” once each quarter I was provided the opportunity to squeeze a
gadget, get a score, and have my teacher announce it out loud, no matter how
high or (as in my case) how low it was. No matter how hard I tried, the
cruel and callous scale never registered above 40. Almost every other male
in the class could boast of a high-40’s or mid-50’s score. I hated that
test with a passion. Until recently. When this semester rolled around and I
had the gripper placed in my palm, I was prepared for the same old same old.
I had been improving slightly from quarter to quarter, but nothing
impressive ever happened. I drew in a deep breath, squeezed, looked at the
scale, and almost fainted. Sixty-six! In a way only a teenager can
appreciate, for an accomplishment only a teenager would find meaningful, I
thought I was in heaven. My success was even sweeter as I watched jocks pale
in comparison when they took the test. Sure, to some people my academic
accomplishments seem fairly impressive, and I would agree. Yet the grip test
situation was much more personal and represented success in an area I
normally don’t pay attention to. Plus I learned two things. One: I can
pride myself on the smallest triviality. Two: I’m glad we don’t measure
strength in our gym classes with the bench press.
Harvard, Leadership through
Dedication
To me, leadership does not
necessarily mean accumulating as many titles as possible in school
activities; I feel one leads through his dedication, actions, and
contributions. I have always tried to lead in almost everything I set out to
do. I feel I have been successful at that. Superficially, I have earned such
titles as president of the National Honor Society chapter at my school,
Editor-in-Chief, columnist, Investigative Editor, and Editorial Editor of
the school newspaper, senior varsity leader in debate, and a Class
Representative for Student Council. However, those titles don’t begin to
tell the story of my abilities as a leader. They don’t reveal how I
volunteered to help out at a handicapped lock-in at an unfamiliar youth
center when no one else wanted to, they don’t reveal how I always sought
to be on time for work and to avoid boondoggling, they don’t reveal how I
aided younger debaters with their argumentation so they can have the same
success I was lucky enough to enjoy, they don’t reveal how I became a role
model for the JETS squad by studying my material often, eventually becoming
the most medaled member on the team, and they don’t reveal all the effort
I put into learning my lines and acquiring a good stage presence for Images,
my first stage production ever, so I wouldn’t single-handedly jeopardize
the whole show with my lack of experience. All those actions stress the
quality I feel is most important in a leader, dedication. With dedication
comes hard work and the ability to seek out solutions when problems get in
the way, whether they are with a news page layout or in a student’s
diction. Because of this dedication, taking charge is second nature for me.
People are always willing to follow one with a clear sense of direction.
Harvard, Close-knit family
I don’t view my important
characteristics as different from those my family has imparted on me
throughout the years. The pride, care, dedication, effort, and hard-working
attitude that I view as critical to any success I may achieve have all
descended upon me courtesy of my close-knit, Italian family.
Born the child of two
immigrants who came here with nothing, only one possessing a college degree,
the importance of a good work ethic was stressed by my parents from day one.
Through their actions in their jobs and through the verbal lessons on life I
began to get from the moment I could communicate, they set an example for me
to follow, one of being proud of what I do, no matter what it was, and above
all, to care about everything I do as if everything had a big impact. This
meant that everything had to be done right and be done well. Undoubtedly,
following their own advice carried my parents from their status as
blue-collar immigrants who labored as a factory workers to white-collar
citizens, one of whom owns his own business while the other works as a bank
officer. Those ascensions from nothing only served as other examples for me
to follow, examples that delineated the ability for a person to improve
through effort.
Another quotation from my
father propelled me from the time I started school to today: “No matter
what you do, you have to be the best.” This set up the inner drive that
motivates all my actions. It was what forced me to try hard in school
although I didn’t know English well enough to always understand the
teacher. It’s the reason why I have developed my skills. It accounts for
my dedication to all activities, and to the hard work I put into all of them
as I strive to lead both in class and out. Essentially, my parentage was the
first quality that distinguished me as a leader.
Despite all the talk of being a
leader, I have never lost sight of the importance of my family. I know I owe
my family everything, and as a result, I’ll always be close with it.
Harvard, Fun
I pursue a variety of
activities for fun and relaxation. I enjoy reading books and magazines (my
tastes range from Time to Gentlemen’s Quarterly) on a regular basis,
imitating Beavis and Butt-head, and most of all, spending time with my
friends. Although I am fan of playing pick-up games of basketball, football,
and roller hockey, the phrase “doing nothing with my time” doesn’t
bother me since I can have a good time just hanging around. I think people,
not places, make for a good time.
Harvard, Social Concerns
My major social concerns all
revolve around the future. In other words, I’m concerned about what
prevents people from rising above their disadvantages. Specifically, I am
most concerned with the handicapped, education, and crime.
I feel society’s response to
handicaps is what really hampers the potential of the disabled. It is
important for the disabled to get a better sense of worth and to be able to
adapt to, and survive in, today’s world. Through National Honor Society (NHS),
I have done just that. I have helped out at a lock-in that was designed to
foster interaction among the children of the organization, as well as at
Special Olympics, where the children participate in sports on a competitive
basis so their talents and abilities can be recognized. Whenever the
disabled can be successful at an activity, the barrier between them and the
rest of society is drastically reduced.
Education is key to other
problems such as gangs, drugs, and crime because it can prevent and
eliminate them. I try to get students in our school to maximize their
opportunities by using the educational resources available. By setting up a
tutoring program through NHS, I have matched up needy students with other
students who can assist them with their problems in classes. More directly,
I help students out with English and show them how to use the Writing Center
Lab, an indispensable resource for English students at any level. The more
educated a person is, I believe, the more able he is to be successful in the
future.
I have dealt with criminal
problems in my school by discussing solutions to gangs and other crime in
the Student Advisory Committee. We have drafted several proposals to help
reduce those problems in our school.
Educating people about such
social concerns is also very crucial because they won’t fix what they
don’t think is broken. That is one objective of our newspaper, in which we
have written various editorials and news stories to educate the student body
on social topics. Through debate, I myself have become knowledgeable on such
topics as the homeless, poverty, health care, and the environment. That way
I can practice what I preach.
COMMENTS:
Harvard is notorious for its
long list of essay questions, as you can see from the seven essays this
applicant had to write. The first essay is a standard favorite book essay.
His second, about his favorite teacher, goes into more depth and reveals
more about the candidate, that he enjoys learning, admires independent
thought, and plans to study history.
The third essay in this set
stands out from the rest. Had the panel who were grading the compositions
understood the context of this essay in light of the six others in the set,
they probably would have given it more credit. Its strength lies in its
funny, lighthearted approach-it shows a completely different aspect of the
candidate’s personality. Without it, he would have appeared deadpan
serious and probably a bit dull. However, showing the wittier side of
himself strengthens the set considerably. It is a good example of allowing
yourself to take a risk in one essay, as long as more serious approaches in
the others balance it.
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