drive to Chicago, just get a damn ride to the
train station from a friend or on the V-Line.
Its much cheaper trust me.
*If you see the VUPD
duct tape your ass crack because they are going to
*Go to Dish. Its a great restaurant
in town and it will be like an orgasm in
your mouth, though its a little pricey. And if
you don't go then I will orgasm in your mouth.
*Find a girl or girls to have sex with constantly...
its just fun (that goes for the females too).
Also, be considerate and buy your roommate some earplugs.
*Begin playing poker. If you don't like poker begin
playing strip poker. If you don't know how to
play poker just strip.
*The cafeteria trays can be used
for anything: Sledding, hall sledding, hall snowboarding, baseball, homework, you
can even eat of them if you are truly daring.
*Sleep in Sundays and get some waffles before the God
Squad steals your food. 10:55 is best I believe.
*Jimmy John's will become a life sustaining resource if you
go to this school. The Italian Night Sub rules.
*Maria Lana's is also good, especially for pizza
and its cheap. Tip well and they might not even
spit in your food.
*Get good grades. I really didn't
think I needed to say that but in case you
forgot, its pretty much all you've got at Valpo.
with your drinking: College mixology is a wonderful and creative
art. And for your own sake offer your RA
a drink. This will get you on their good
side and introduce you to their theories on the dry
*When you are checking out for freshman year hide
hundreds of something in your room (whether it be post-it
notes or snapple bottle caps or something). Then come
back the next year. You will get to meet
some very confused and freaked out people.
*Find an anorexic
friend you can count on when your meal card runs