(Valparaiso) *Don't drive to Chicago, just get a damn ride

How this student rated the school

Educational Quality	A	Faculty Accessibility	A+
Useful Schoolwork	C+	Excess Competition	B+
Academic Success	B-	Creativity/ Innovation	A-
Individual Value	B+	University Resource Use	A-
Campus Aesthetics/ Beauty	B	Friendliness	A-
Campus Maintenance	C-	Social Life	D+
Surrounding City	F	Extra Curriculars	B
Safety	A

Describes the student body as: Friendly, Afraid, Closeminded Describes the faculty as: Friendly, Helpful

Female

ACT:1

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SAT1

Super Brilliant

Lowest Rating Surrounding City	F

Highest Rating Faculty Accessibility	A+

She cares more about Surrounding City than the average student.

Date: Jul 30 2008
Major: Mechanical Engineering (This Major's Salary over time)
*Don't drive to Chicago, just get a damn ride to the train station from a friend or on the V-Line. Its much cheaper trust me.

If you see the VUPD duct tape your ass crack because they are going to rape you.

Go to Dish. Its a great restaurant in town and it will be like an orgasm in your mouth, though its a little pricey. And if you don't go then I will orgasm in your mouth.

Find a girl or girls to have sex with constantly… its just fun (that goes for the females too). Also, be considerate and buy your roommate some earplugs.

Begin playing poker. If you don't like poker begin playing strip poker. If you don't know how to play poker just strip.

The cafeteria trays can be used for anything: Sledding, hall sledding, hall snowboarding, baseball, homework, you can even eat of them if you are truly daring.

Sleep in Sundays and get some waffles before the God Squad steals your food. 10:55 is best I believe.

Jimmy John's will become a life sustaining resource if you go to this school. The Italian Night Sub rules.

Maria Lana's is also good, especially for pizza and its cheap. Tip well and they might not even spit in your food.

Get good grades. I really didn't think I needed to say that but in case you forgot, its pretty much all you've got at Valpo.

Experiment with your drinking: College mixology is a wonderful and creative art. And for your own sake offer your RA a drink. This will get you on their good side and introduce you to their theories on the dry campus?

When you are checking out for freshman year hide hundreds of something in your room (whether it be post-it notes or snapple bottle caps or something). Then come back the next year. You will get to meet some very confused and freaked out people.

Find an anorexic friend you can count on when your meal card runs out.

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