Florida Atlantic University

Date: Jan 07 2010
Major: Architecture & Urban Planning Department (This Major's Salary over time)
Right, so, as an up-and-coming architect and urban planner, I was terrified by this institution not only because of its occult rituals, but by the cfact that it would have killed me due to the lack of oxygen, had I not been prudent enough to a tank of the stuff. As an architect and urban planner, I am prepared for any occurrence. Every other Wednesday, they attempt to facilitate the process of global warming by slaughtering ten students and roasting their bodies over a charcoal pit. But this barely even compares to the fright of knowing that the severed head of Richard Nixon rests upon the top of the science building, propped there to forever monitor the campus so as to make sure none escape. The zombie infestation would be a little more compelling if it weren't for the eyeless sociology professor, who has holes for ears and a thin yet appealing slit for a mouth.

Advice?

Bring lard to distract the rampaging elephant.