Marquette University

Date: Oct 26 2010
Major: Unknown (This Major's Salary over time)
When I went to college I expected to meet other fun, energetic, and intelligent people. I wasn't expecting to meet future presidents, but I hoped to meet other people with a passion for life and some sense of direction and

know what they want to do with themselves.

Only God knows how wrong I was. Fuck.

Let's start with the student body. More than half come from the suburbs of Chicago. About a quarter come from southeastern Wisconsin (ironically I've only met a few people from Milwaukee, seems no one in the area wants to come here). Less than a handful come from everywhere else. The result is a homely assortment of short, dark haired, and generally unattractive people. College Prowler ranks the girls here C-, and that's being generous. What's worse is the ratio of guys to girls is about 58 to 42. What's even worse is that I would rather castrate myself with a rusty hammer than consider a relationship with about 1/3 of the girls here, which drives the competition for attractive girls even further. Plus, the upperclassmen males move in on the attractive freshman girls like vultures. It's a fucking war zone.

If you consider yourself a geek or nerd, stay away from Marquette like the plague. You won't meet any other like minded people. Those smart kids you knew in high school don't come here. You know those guys in high school, the fake jocks that were always kind of on the fringe of the jock group but never really accepted into that group? Bam. That's nearly all of the male students. In other words, little intelligence and not a single original thought. Hope you like hearing about the Packers and Brewers 24/7.

The girls aren't much better. They mostly are the nobody girls from high school. Uninteresting. Bland. Unattractive.

Milwaukee as a city blows. Since Marquette's next to a hospital and a highway, have fun hearing sirens constantly. Sometimes I think they do it just to piss people off. Oh yeah, and one of Milwaukee's main roads runs down the middle of campus, so traffic and crosswalks will be with you always and forever. Since 1970 Milwaukee's population has dropped from 700,000 to 600,000, which gives you an idea that people want to get out.

Safety on campus is fairly good, but you will feel under siege. DPS (campus police) is fucking everywhere. This might reassure some people, but I'm sick of feeling like I'm living in a police state (there's shit tons of cameras everywhere and you need your ID card to get into most buildings). By day, homeless black people wander and linger among the multiple bus stops throughout campus. They aren't going anywhere, they just like using the benches and staring at you. Once I watched a guy have a drug induced seizure outside my dorm. Fun.

Social life consists of drinking on the weekends at houses along two blocks that run parallel to campus. A lot of people just stay in the dorms and don't do anything to. They can't comprehend spending their weekend doing something other than watching TV. DPS literally knows about every party, and will wait a few hours if they decide to clear it out. It sucks watching them drive by every 5 minutes, wondering when they will bust in.

There's a handful of clubs, but they don't do much. For example, there were 2 other people at MU's chess club meeting when I went. That's paints a good picture of the activity scene. I'm Catholic, but I'm sick of seeing public crosses everywhere. You feel like you're always in church.

Teachers, like students, are uninspired. They are here to perform a job, and at 5pm they drive back to the suburbs to be with their families and communities.

About half the student body is getting a huge, huge discount on tuition. It pisses me off that I'm subsidizing the dumb as bricks ROTC students so that they come here for free.

Food is practically worse than high school. Sodexo (the catering company), charges $10 per meal (in bulk) for their ridiculous meal plans (mandatory if you live in a dorm). In theory it's all you can eat, but the workers serve you, and will give you small portions of meat or good food, and load you up with filler. At least 3/5ths of the food workers are black, and will make it seem like they're doing you a favor by serving you. Service is slow, food bins are not quickly replenished, and the milk dispenser is frequently out. Since coming, my poop is thinner and runnier. The milk is watered down.

Outside of Milwaukee and Chicago, MU is unknown. The students are so uninspired, it's numbing. It's like their dazing through college with no purpose. Don't expect any rallies or cause posters around or meeting future CEO's that can hook you up. You're going to college with future low level, nameless, depressed, white collar employees. I wouldn't even mind meeting a communist or hippie prancing around, but people with opinions don't exist here.

Don't, I repeat, don't fall for their propaganda. They will nickel and dime you as much as they can. Check to see if the required books are actually used, since out of 9 textbooks I've only used 2. The professors don't even like telling you, since they/the administration/the book store get royalties.

I'm planning on getting out of here. I implore you not to make the mistake I did. Don't come here unless you're a masochist and want college to be a dreary challenge. My carcass and many others are smeared across the entrance. You've been fucking warned, motherfucker.