quick question prospective students!
Do you like to
be bent over and violated over and over again?
this might be the right school for you!
campus is kind of like a theme park!
Except you won't have fun! Instead, You get to pay
ridiculous amounts of money for the shittiest food available, that
also comes with a side of diarrhea!
You get to
walk miles through our awesome campus spread out over MILES
for no apparent reason! Walk through literally thousands of people
EVERY day! Good luck finding Parking! It cost about two
dollars an hour! Or, you can risk getting stabbed by
bums in our great public transportation system!
Do you like
being made fun of in classes by the student and
faculty when you ask normal questions? Awesome!
Whoa, almost all
my teachers are assistant professors or TA's! Great!
I was wondering if I could help in the upcoming
“You obviously don't have any skills, so sorry.”
Do you like having professors 15-20 minutes late to
class and don't give a shit about anything? Great!
Sit in the back of class with your laptop and
Now be prepared to answer the question a
Why are you going to this school if
your not Hispanic and your last name is not Martinez
or Garcia? And why are you not taking Spanish?
Do you like campus internet that doesn't
work 50% of the time? Then go buy a laptop
And the people are so friendly! Wait, you
didn't go to high school here and are getting a
free ride to college?? Prepare to be alone for the
next four years!
Do you like having courses in classrooms
that are twenty years and in a basement? Then get