The State University of New York Purchase College

Date: Apr 12 2011
Major: English (This Major's Salary over time)
When I found out I was accepted to Purchase I was ecstatic. I fell in love with its bells and whistles (i.e., Culture Shock, the Pepsico Theater, and the bizarre artwork) and what I perceived to be a bohemian academia. Also, they were the only school I applied to with a Creative Writing major. I assumed that by being accepted into Purchase' Creative Writing program, I had shone a beacon of promise on the judges that miraculously put me on the fast track to being a successful novelist. This was an imaginative assumption.

On a divergent note, Purchase is a nice place if you are gay and promiscuous, and I say that wholeheartedly. It doesn't have anything to do with me, but I have noticed it. It is very easy to notice. There are lots of gay people and if you are gay and looking to get laid, or even find that special someone, then go to Purchase! It's just, you have to be willing to sacrifice everything else, so you better be really horny.

Purchase really is kind of a dump, to be blunt. I didn't think the campus would get me down at first, but I got proven wrong. It corrodes your soul. Extremely windy, flat, and tons of cement. And the construction! The contstruction seems to be tapering off, but if you're going to Purchase any time soon then I would be prepared to hear frequent, loud grinding sounds and experience monthlong detours on your way to class.

Which reminds me. The Freshman dorms are hideous and have no amenities whatsoever. I live in Farside right now. There is a lounge, but get this: it's locked. It's always locked. Legend has it someone burned a chair once in one of the lounges, so now they're all locked. I don't know if that's true of the upperclassmen dorms; I hear those are nice. But I can assure you, Farside, at least, is as bleak as an outhouse. And also, you can always count on findings wonderful goodies in the bathroom and on the hallway floors, such as poop, body hair, food scraps, and even used condoms! In actuality.

Also: the showers are bad bad bad. These may seem like petty complaints to someone who is allured by Purchases many belying charms, but trust me, you will be paying very close attention to where you shit and shower after a couple of months.

The food? The food is not the worst, but the meal plans are very stressful and bad. The Traditional meal plan (the default one) gives you nineteen meals a week. Of those, you can use only four a day. Meals do not carry over into the next week. There are four places where you can redeem your meals. There is the Dining Hall, which is buffet style and at first very exciting, but then it really does get old, inevitably, because the same food gets repeated each week with occasionally slight deviations which are also eventually repeated. Then there is the Hub, which is burgers, tacos, sandwhiches, and smoothies, and there each of your meals is worth three dollars in the morning and five dollars in the afternoon and at night. I am not kidding. You will find that this is extremely restricting.

Then, there's Starbucks. Expensive, but it's cool you can use meals at Starbucks.

That whole gimmick about Purchase being a haven for vegetarians and vegans is pretty flimsy. Terra Ve, the fourth eatery that is known for serving all vegetarian or Vegan food, most just offers things like pizza and quesadillas. You can get weird, cold, yucky sandwhiches, but they do not please the tastebuds.

The teachers I have had have all been good, and I can't complain there. The teaching staff is one thing I can't discount about Purchase—they all seem to be committed and knowledgeable. However, most of the students are lazy and dumb, or music/dance/acting/art majors who don't ever have to worry about opening books. This is a lot of why I am transferring from Purchase to Binghamton—my peers at Purchase just seem, in general, disinterested in school.

So what is everyone interested in? Smoking pot! The smell is everywhere. If you love smoking pot, go to Purchase! Everyone here does it.

The facilities at Purchase are terrible, by the way. Just today I met my friends at The Stood (which ended up losing all of its charm too when I discovered nearly everything there is broken) to play ping pong when, alas, all of the tables were broken. So we thought we'd play pool, but, ah ah ah, nope, all the pool table slope to one side.

I should also mention that White Plains, the one place where the Purchase Loop bus system goes, is a very depressing place unless you are going shopping. Everyone looks sad and poverty-stricken, and the air tastes bad.

At Purchase, you can expect monotonous, inadequately portioned food, crappy facilities, unmotivated students, a depressing surrounding area, and a gloomy campus.

Side notes:

Amazing Dance!

A lot of open mic nights for bands.