San Jose State University

Date: Jun 29 2016
Major: Business - Management and Administration (This Major's Salary over time)
Before you decide on attending SJSU, I'd recommend taking a visit to Student Services. There is a GHETTO obese black woman with 3 inch finger nails (usually plays music out loud using her phone). Now, move to the room on the left, the financial aid area. Hmmm, is this a trailer attached to the building? Oh yes, I think it is! Or…from the ghetto black woman, take a right and try to get help from one of the other counters. Huh? No one is there? Opps! Well, why not leave Student Services! Yummy, the scent and sounds of the ghetto. Losers with face tattoos and coaches in front of their houses smoking crack. Probably alumni of this BRILLIANT institution of higher learning!

Student Services closed? Don't worry, check out the library—it is likely open, since, well it IS a public library! Ah, how the crazy hobos jack off to porn, staff turning a blind eye. Ah, the sound of junkies attacking each other on the first floor. The library that you'll be paying thousands of dollars to use, because the school is just so accepting <3 In fact, got a 2.0 gpa in high school? They'll accept you! Can't speak your first language? You too! Hell, get all the felonies you'd like, but step on campus and become a student too (You can even bring your gun if you'd like!).

Walk around campus, meet your classmates and fellow alumni. Some may be sitting on the moldy coaches parked outside their houses. <3 Your fellow friends <3

Since graduating a few months ago, the school is already treating me like family, rather than just a friend like before. I LOVE IT!!! The SJSU magazines ask me to donate $5,000 to the "youth" (guess I'm over the hill since graduating, huh?). This months publication featured a ghetto 50 year old #BLM alumni, with a photo of SJSU's shitty BLM olympics statue. <3 so inspiring!!! (btw: FUCK OLD WHITE MEN!!! THEY ARE ALL AWFUL RACISTS WHO ARE OBVIOUSLY RACISTS AND ONLY USED THEIR STUNNING CRUSTY OLD LOOKS TO GET THEM AHEAD REEEEEEEEE!!! (as taught by my SJSU teachers. Thank you, now I know that it's not just slutty women using their looks to get ahead <3). Want to become FAMILY with SJSU too? Then just spend a few thousand buckaroos (few = $20,000), and you can be too <3 Otherwise, go to a fucking UC (Seriously, just go. Anywhere but SJSU).