Christopher Newport University

Date: Jan 16 2017
Major: Unknown (This Major's Salary over time)
This school gave me AIDS. Don't come here. The entire school is wrapped up in the 'Cult of CNU.' Everyone outwardly strives to show everyone how great and happy everyone here is, where the reality couldn't be further from true. If you come to CNU you better be planning to spend a few thousand additional dollars per year to buy your friends at the greek life auction. You want good wifi? Don't even think about it. Power outages, in numerous faulty fire alarms going off at 4am, not being allowed to legally drink when you're 21, and inevitable depression are just some of the fun perks you have to look forward to if you choose to attend CNU. Last year, a girl jumped out of a fourth story window in one of the residence halls. CNU wouldn't want to tarnish their record with a suicide on their hands so they made up a bullshit story about there being an accident. We all knew the girl and we all knew it wasn't an accident, there were plenty of witnesses. Dont buy into what the tour guides are selling, they are reading you a script designed by the university to sell you a faulty product. They only choose the bubbliest and fake individuals they can find to shit rainbows out of their mouths. The food is horrible and every week is the same menu. and you can only eat during three very slim unaccommodating time frames that do not allow for you to eat when you would prefer to eat. The PLP shit is a joke and leadership is a fake field of study. don't do it if you have a functioning analytical brain. the dorm rooms themselves are much nicer than any other universities dorms and are the one positive aspect I would attribute CNU. That fact is shadowed by the paper thin walls and hallways designed to carry noise like trumpets. don't you dare think about playing music in your own room or laughing too loud, as you will find RAs knocking at your door every day complaining about noise violations. instead of allowing students of legal age to peacefully consume alcohol safely in their own rooms while playing videogames or watching movies, Trible and Co. would rather have freshman girls walking miles out of the CNU bubble into the dangerous territory of Newport News. Above all, CNU's mission is to inconvenience you in small but numerous ways, increasing in number and magnitude over the course of four years to precondition you into accepting the reality that life is meaningless and nothing you will ever do is good enough. When I was asked what drew me into this school, I always referenced how nice and fresh the grass had looked on my tour. It only takes about a year before you realize that the grass at CNU is actually spraypainted green, and is in fact dead and wilted underneath, just like the students who attend CNU.