Middlebury College

Date: May 22 2005
Major: Political Science (This Major's Salary over time)
Middlebury College, oh where oh where to begin?

Well let's start out with the positive aspect of the school. Vermont state is absolutely stunning. If you can get past the smell of cow heaps, or even the occasional on-campus game of "cow patty bingo," Vermont is otherwise charming. The buildings and facilities are top notch. Dorm rooms are very spacious and kept up to date. The food is diverse and delicious, and I understand that the school has a newly constructed dining hall that rivals it's other modern hall. There is always something fun to do on campus, and the student activities board is, indeed, highly active. While I attended Middlebury, I was under the impression that the staff and the student activity board were genuinely interested in "how much fun" I was having, which is, admittedly, a nice feeling. If you are a ski freak then you'll be glad to know that Middlebury owns it's own skiing facility, the Snow Bowl. I was never much into skiing during my time there but Middlebury offers many classes to learn. You can even apply skiing or snowboarding to your required physical education credit. Hmm what have I left out? The professors are fantastic. They are the "come by and chat" sort. In fact, the staff and the people of Vermont tend to be kind, sprightly, generous people.

The cons:

The student body. Could such a charming and elite college set in idyllic Vermont assemble a more grotesque group of heathens? I'd estimate about 1% of these creatures are Vermonters, and it SHOWS. In fact, everything SHOWS. I've never seen such a group of animals TRY so desperately to seem wealthier than the next person. Like the strings in a "Peter Pan" play, these intellectually dummel maggots soar about gloating over money and position, whilst desperately grasping the air above them for some semblance of social legitimacy. Readers if you thought Princeton eating clubs were pretentious, wait until you witness the bourgeouise hypocrisy of Middlebury College! Are there or are there not 64% of students at this tiny institution on financial aid? The figure might have changed since my time at Middlebury, but I've never seen such class panic in my life. And believe me, I have travelled. And oh yes, the school is racist on a particular level. I dare to say that this is the one high stratum the Middlebury student body en masse reaches, to the level of a Nazi prison guard standing alert in a tower. I really suggest that President Lebowitz, well, WAKES UP, and take a look at the CAMPus over which he is presiding. I do not subscribe to racist or anti-Semitic thinking (or lack thereof) but can I say CRIKEY?! I've seen minority students physically threatened and reduced to tears. All of this occurs in PUBLIC, readers.

Such pretty snow, oh but such nasty people.

Oh and yes, the practical application of a Middlebury education in the career world.

Well is it practical? Errm, no, sorry. Reading 30 page packets and droning on and on about such dated material in a surprisingly illiterate classroom will not prepare you for the competetive and globalized world out there. No tiny village in Vermont will prepare you for that, not even the so-called "impressive" Middlebury language schools abroad will prepare you. Students who study abroad through Middlebury speak english any chance they get. It's a dirty little secret. There is no immersion, and this is quite a problem if you consider that Middlebury's draw is for it's foreign language program. Whether you learn the language at this pompous, arrogant (without the goods to back it up) wintery school, or at Kalamazoo State College, it really makes no difference.

Should I mention that the school's one crowning literary achievement is the woman who wrote

The Vagina Monologues

(a campus favorite)? I'd venture to say that her protagonist has far more interesting subjects to discuss than any of the mingers at Mingerbury College.

Last subject yet certainly not the least of concern, is the weather, that dreadful weather.

Could Middlebury get any colder? Granted you know that Vermont is a cold state. In the winter months (staring around October) the snow frosted campus is actually quite stunning. But readers imagine having to live in Antarctica for your entire scholastic duration. Yes it's very quaint and charming, but you may find your dorm equally frosty, the showers out of hot water, and sheets of ice welcoming you on your morning soujourn to class. You'll be covered from head to toe in insulated fabrics, hardly ideal for pretty girls out there. But ARE there pretty girls at Middlebury? It's a catty assertion, yes, but I'm being perfectly frank here. The students APPEAR the way they act, male and female. Oh and they smell awful. I felt like I was stranded in a frozen Calcutta.

So all in all, Middlebury, Vermont is a nice place to visit, but a horrid place to study.