The University of California - Berkeley

Date: Sep 19 2004
Major: Business - Management and Administration (This Major's Salary over time)
Berkeley is the academic equivalent of SEAL training, except without much support from your fellow students. Watch for students committing suicide by jumping from the roofs of the tall buildings (I'm not kidding). While I was attending Berkeley, I learned that a guy who had grown up in the house where I was conceived, born, and raised, had comitted suicide while attended there becase he couldn't hack it.

Considering how many Asians attend Berkeley, except for the basketball team, my good friend there at 6'2", normal build, was one of the biggest motherfuckers around. He got mugged a little after 2am while coming home frome the bars. A brief scan of the Daily Cal after I graduated revealed that dayling abductions/rapes of women still occur.

Oh yeah, every rumor about Mark Seasholes (Haas) is true. Particularly the threesome one (two chicks, one of whom was his student). I will admit I helped spread these rumors, but that is only because I knew from deep(throat in closeness) sources that they were true. While the guy is one of the best professors at Haas, he's still an asshole. His first semester there (Spring 2001) he was a total barfly at Henry's but quit because I believe he was getting a "reputation", in no doubt helped along by his drunken comments to big-breated citizens of the former USSR (e.g. "I hear Russian girls are easy"—but that don't work to well when they're really Ukranian).

On a final note, as a white man, I developed an incurable case of yellow fever after attending this school. The rumors are Seasholes caught it too. And remember what I said about rumors with this guy.