The University of Massachusetts - Amherst

Date: Sep 02 2004
Major: Other (This Major's Salary over time)
UMass Amherst is what you make of it.

You can coast through for four years and never have a coherent thought, content to think of yourself as a number just like the administration thinks of you, or you can get an education rivalling an Ivy.

There are some amazing small departments where you really get to know your professors and classmates over the years. I had classes as small as 4 people and as large as 350. Avoid the giant-lecture gen-ed courses like the plague. A few are inevitable, but take too many and if you have any ounce of intelligence you'll lose a lot of faith in humanity and respect for your school. You'll realize how many single-celled organisms passing as students populate the campus, and you'll get the worst of the

research professors who hate teaching intro-level classes like death

and not learn anything.

The school is large and intimidating at first. Oh, and hideous. Though the surrounding region is beautiful. Being so large it's weird how after a year or two you begin to see people you know every day. By the end of four years, the school seemed too small and like I needed to get away from the same people. Probably has something to do with the small town thing, especially. Off campus, in Amherst, there are only so many places that one can go to shop for books, eat, get coffee, go barhopping, etc, so especially there you're bound to run into 10 people you know everytime you go to town by the time you're a senior.

Also, USE THE FIVE COLLEGE CONSORTIUM. There's nothing better than paying instate tuition to go to UMass, and being able to take advantage of all the elite overpriced snobby but EXCELLENT schools nearby. Amherst, Smith, and Mt Holyoke are renowned nationwide for their quality of education, and Hampshire, while not for everyone, also has its share of amazing classes. And you get to meet people who come from places other than 20 minutes outside of Boston and yell "Yankees Suck" too much, though the Yankees do, in fact, suck. Oh, and guys, you can take classes at Smith and Mt Holyoke (both women's colleges) and be surrounded by women. It's intimidating in certain ways but kind of fun at the same time, speaking as someone who's done it.

The main downsides to UMass are its decrepitness and ugliness, and the massive budget cuts, which, each of the last few years, has caused prices to go up while the school's quality plummets. Massachusetts, being so Boston-centric and full of politicians who attended the state's elitist colleges, likes to ignore the fact that middle-class public university people exist, oh, and that anything west of Worcester exists too. Those things being the case, UMass is getting the shaft, as is all of MA higher public education. Mass was one of only two states in the whole country that actually reduced funding to their state colleges and universities in the past few years. So prepare yourself for massive layoffs in your department, loss of printing privileges in the computer labs, and higher tuition and fees every semester, just for the privilege of seeing your favorite professors being forced into retirement because our governor is a rich, republican moron.

On to the social life. The social life around UMass has something for everyone except giganto city folks and clubbers. Whether it be Greek life, the everynight plastered life, plays and high culture, coffee and cigarettes, wine and cheese snobs, hippie-stoner, dungeons and dragons, whatever, you can find it here.

The towns of Amherst and Northampton are wonderful places to hang out. For their size, they both offer an incredible array of good food, good bars, good concerts, good people, openmindedness, plays, lectures, cheap used books, activism, open mics, etc etc etc. They're not big cities, and certainly not the most exciting places in the world, but I'd challenge anyone to find a rural area in the USA that's more culturally active than the Pioneer Valley. Too many city people on campus suffer from the

it's not boston/nyc, so the place is a worthless s***hole

disease. Most of them say this because they never leave their dorm rooms or downtown Amherst + Northampton. My advice: once you're sick of Amherst/Noho, get a car or a friend with one, and explore off the bus lines. The Holyoke Mall is one of the best in New England. Springfield may be a ghetto (ranked 20th most dangerous city in US) but it's got some excellent clubs, great restaurants, and the B-ball hall of fame. Go north to Greenfield, Shelburne Falls, or Brattleboro Vermont for great natural beauty, more excellent restaurants, and some insight into where hippies settled once the 60s ended.

Having rambled too long, all in all, the University is a mixed bag with too many positive and many negative aspects to list. Avoid it if you can't stand liberal politics or drunken, STD-ridden dumbasses surrounding you at almost all times. And be sure to research your department of choice before coming here. Some are amazing. Some departments are so good, in fact, that students from the supposedly "better" schools of the five colleges swarm to take UMass classes because their schools fall short in those departments. Others bite. Most of them are underfunded. Be careful. Or dont' come here if you're from out of state, the price is just a ripoff. You can do better.