Bard College Simon's Rock

Date: Feb 21 2011
Major: Other (This Major's Salary over time)
First, Marty Checchi—who is in charge of putting people in dorms—is the biggest wuss I've ever met. She doesn't really do much. She just tries to get away with as much as she can, giving you shitty dorm assignments and when you ask for a change, nothing happens or she will say that she will look out for you for future room options or openings. Of course you will find out room opportunities from students and they will tell you the truth, that no one has claimed the room yet. So you email her about it and she says it's already taken when it's not, this happened my Freshman year and now again my Sophomore year.

Now, when I first saw her I thought she was absolutely adorable. But don't let her cute look fool you, she plays the students so they feel like shit and can't sleep in their own beds. If you want a room change you have to go up in her face a zillion times until she gets so pissed and sick of seeing you that she does something about it. Even Seniors were snubbed.

Let's see, the office is bogus. They just want your money. If you want to get into this school it's easy. Just talk about how brilliant you are and tell them of your experiences and how you want to change the world. No matter what your grades, you'll get in because this school is MOTHEReffing BROKE! And they need as much money as possible.

If you get in and you're worried about being kicked out, don't worry about it. You can plead to stay and they'll let you as long as you pay. Trust me, the school is THAT broke.

The housing is falling a part. The Crosby dorm building had a huge leak in the bathrooms and it was locked off so all students living on that floor had to use the rest rooms on the other floors. The shower stalls are grody and smelly. And there is some fungus growing under the shower mats.

The modules smell like cat pee and they are falling a part as well. They also have rodent problems.

The woman who works at Snack Bar is a jerk. Not all, just this one in particular named Heidi. She will pretend to like you but then bitch about everyone including you, behind your back even when you're close by. If you work for her at the school snack bar you will be doomed to do all of her work except for the cash register and cleaning the stove if you are under 18. But the dishes, putting things away, making food, etc is ALL on you. She takes 15 minute breaks, and when you take a 5 minute break she will take that out of your earnings. She's an ass and will smile at you anyway. Lots of people have stopped working there because she is an unpleasant woman and probably she is wishing she had a better life rather than working a bad job.

Although our school food SUCKS, maybe it doesn't suck if you're vegan—pffft. No offense to you vegans, because I get it, but please let the meat eaters EAT their meet. We deal with you guys freaking out at the sight of milk and real cheese, so deal with us doing a happy dance to our 100% real beef burgers, okay?!

The dinning hall staff is nice. It's made up of most students and the normal older staff who's been there for a while. David and Amy are the best and Merry Weather who is in charge of the deal is really nice. David and Amy will make you nice eggs in the morning and greet you hello when they see you.

The down side to going to this college if you graduated high school and LOVED high school, is that you'll meet many people who wanted to go to this college because they HATED high school. They will take their suppressed feelings of high school and shove it down any happy person's throat. You will most likely witness groups of people forming within the first week of getting there. If you look hot, the majority of students will call you a slut and spread rumors. Whether you actually get some or not, they are stupid and very childish.

I will be honest, not many attractive people go to this school. There are plenty of nice people here but MAN do you have to really look. There are many fakes! People will pretend to be kind hearted. Think again. They just want their status to go up being around a certain person, or they want to use you for information or to take your homework answers. Oh, but as for attractive people—we have some attractive people this year because the admissions office realized that they needed a lot of new faces that would make this school look good. So yeah, now I guess we're in the better-ish looking department but let me tell you!

IF YOU ARE A PARENT THINKING ABOUT SENDING YOUR KID HERE, THEY WILL PROBABLY LOSE THEIR VIRGINITY WITHIN THE FIRST TWO DAYS, AND THEY COULD GET SOME CREEP ASS DECEASE BECAUSE EVERYONE HAS GOTTEN WITH EVERYONE AND WHO KNOWS IF THEY'RE EVEN PROTECTED. Luckily people I know and myself haven't gotten STDs, and this is probably because we know better than to get with gross Simon's Rockers who think they're the shit for going here.

The best teachers:

Psychology: Eden Renee Pruitt (she can be very tough but that's because she doesn't treat you like a little high schooler. She takes you to the next level and pushes you because she KNOWS you have potential. For the rock heads that can't understand that, then they don't deserve to have her as a teacher.)

English Literature/Writing: Brendan Mathews & Jamie Hutchinson

They are both exquisite. Brendan Mathews is great because he's very good at constructive critique, and he is a pleasure to see every day because he really cares about his students. Jamie is a great teacher as well, even with his random tangents, he is stingy with giving out A's because he also likes to push you to work your best.

I've taken a range of classes and the teachers are all different. But I will say, the only classes that really push you would be Psychology and most science courses. If you're a good writer for other courses then it shouldn't be a problem. As for artsy classes, like theater, drawing, painting, etc—easy A's. So there isn't much of a challenge in the course work but within yourself. So hey, if you want to waste over 50,000$$$$ to go here to get an easy A, don't. Go somewhere that you'll actually enjoy.

But in the art department defense, the teachers are sweethearts and are worth meeting.

Anyway, this is just another year here for me. My freshman year I hated it. This year I don't mind it because I know what to expect from the people and now I see good people and that's very very very few. Remember this school is awfully small. If you want to see new faces or at least remain anonymous, go elsewhere. Again, it's a huge rip off. Even though this website says that a lot of us would return, that's bull. Go around campus on your own and ask students what they really think overall, taking out the friendships they've made. Just thinking about the way this school works and everything, 80% say they want to transfer, go back to high school, or just leave!

Guys are gross here. Even if you're into girls, there isn't anyone to fall in love with. They are all too immature in some way.

The horny guys will lie saying they hooked up with girls they didn't, the girls will cry about it. I mean, it's just so LAME. When did college start sounding like elementary school? I prefer high school over this place.

As for drugs, you will definitely find them here. All night long that's what most people do. That's all they can do, they say, because you can't easily get into town and even when you get to town it's expensive and there's nothing really to do except buy food that is a lot…

If you go here, it means you have a problem. And if you don't have a problem then you are sure to get one.

So I'm getting out of this dump before my senior year. Fuck this school who doesn't think of you as a person. The only people who make this school great are the teachers, but that's only if you have a good relationship with them. Other wise go screw yourself.

If you're looking for an easy college to get into, go here!